Vegas?? Eh...

Las Vegas for Christmas sounded awesome. I had been told by a friend that the Vegas strip was amazing at Christmas time and that the casinos were breathtaking. That’s all I really needed to know. I like breathtaking, and I had not been to Vegas in nearly 20 years …

Which may have been the problem.

The Vegas strip has been sanitized. A lot. I knew it was no longer the bells and whistles and “ching-ching” of coins falling from slot machines to boldly announce the next dream come true, inspiring everyone to drop one more dollar or play Alice in Wonderland the “clean cup, clean cup” rotation around the casino as they did at the Mad Hatter tea party in hopes of better prospects. No more prostitutes trolling the casinos late at night (oh, they did finally come, but not in the droves of ages past) … and it is not that I was out looking for a prostitute, nor did I really think that one dollar was going to result in a $10,000 payoff. I just wasn’t expecting the silence to be sobering.

Casinos have lost their allure, for me at least. I was never a huge gambler, but I can tell you about that first trip to Vegas in the late 90s when I turned $20 into $300 learning to play black jack. Heck, even most of the black jack tables are now computerized. If I want to bet my odds against a computer, I can do that at home. It sort of came off as sad, as people slumped over machines chain smoked and fed $20 dollar bills into the automatic feeder, pressing the computerized button of slot machine monotony. Even the waitresses failed to procure the never ending drinks to embolden you to keep at the long-game in hopes for an ROI on a short-term investment.

You can’t even explore the strip in reckless wanderings. You are cattle-corralled down one side of the street, only to climb stairs and cross intersections on pedestrian bridges that turn the strip into one long wait line zig zagging at the rate of the slowest couple in front of you.

The hotel was a ghost town. And a dimly lit one at that, with long corridors keeping you in anxious expectation of an apparition of twins inviting you to play at each hallway’s eventual termination ( a la “The Shining”).

Now, I did have fun. I have fun everywhere I go, and I was armed with a bevy of recommendations of non-casino things to do. I definitely had a chance to take in a Cirque de Soleil show (you have eight to choose from). And the Bellagio, of course. It WAS decorated well for Christmas. Actually, they had giant flower sculptures of polar bears, snow princesses, and I am pretty sure Genghis Kahn (??). I am not sure what he had to do with Christmas, but it was still amazing. I got to watch the daily process of pulling wilted flowers out of these massive frames and replacing them with fresh cuts. Now, that’s a job.

I ate amazing food. Hash House a Go-Go was my favorite, with their silly and ridiculously large portions of Fried Chicken Eggs Benedict.

I visited the must-see pinball hall of fame, where I got to play games dating back to the 1940s. I was happy to hear this was a non-profit and 100 percent volunteer staff with all proceeds going to charity.

I enjoyed Freemont Street and Old Las Vegas, where there actually WAS dancing in the street, and hula hoop dancing. A little 8-year-old boy getting into a dance off with a grown man (the boy won), and a woman who invited me in to the restroom to see why she put her underwear on backwards to “lift and separate.” True story. Also true is the fact that I did not choose to accompany her to the restroom. Also true is the fact that I got suckered into the World’s Largest Pint billboard at the Hennessy Tavern where I paid $32 for a 48 oz beer. Hey, we all get suckered into the tourist trap from time to time.

I just never ran into Elvis. Or heard anyone hit a jackpot. Or had a breathtaking Christmas display that made my Santa-heart race.

I did learn I might be an older traveler than my 20-year-old self that was drawn to the tourist trap of Vegas past. Now, I like the scenery, the history, the draw of something deeper. I would have enjoyed the side trip to the Hoover Dam more than the draw of the Vegas strip.

It is all a learning lesson. Even on the road. Our taste buds just sometimes change, and it is good to know where my preferences are as I book my next adventure.